


Between You And I

by thenewnationalanthem (moxielovesshipping)



Series: Sad, Sweet, and Sexy [10]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys Kissing, Breaking Up & Making Up, Crushes, Crying, Depression, Drug Abuse, Eating Disorders, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Guilt, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Pining, Sadness, Self-Hatred, Sexual Frustration, Skype, Songfic, Starvation, Suicidal Thoughts, Unstable Emotions, Worried!Jack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 09:45:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11101971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moxielovesshipping/pseuds/thenewnationalanthem
Summary: "And maybe it's all for the best, but I just don't see any good in this." -Every Avenue





	Between You And I

**Author's Note:**

> How can Mark ask for help from the person that's hurting him to begin with?

He was pacing the floor, eyes glued shut, hands behind his back, wondering how the hell he got in this deep. He huffed and took a seat at his computer desk. He sat his head on his hand, using the other one to mindlessly strum on the wood beneath his nails.

  
" **WHY**."

  
He asked the gods.

  
"Why _me_?"

  
He sighed, fully laying his face into his folded arms. As tears began to fall from his eyes, he heard a familiar ringing coming from his desktop. He looked up, and his eyes blew wide at what he saw before him. Jack was calling. He quickly wiped his eyes, hoping they weren't too puffy from crying, and sat up straight to answer the call.

  
"Hey M- _Christ_ what's wrong?"

  
Jack frowned at him, his piercing blue eyes examining every inch of his face.

  
_"He's so beautiful..."_

  
Mark thought, audibly laughing at his lack of control.

  
_"Beautiful people dont love broken things."_

  
His conscience echoed, he sighed.

  
"...ta see if ye were okay."

  
His eyes snapped back up to meet Jack's, his gaze was etched with worry and dismay, and his hair was tousseled adorably across his face as if he had been pulling at it.

  
"What? Sorry, I zoned out."

  
Jack scoffed, smiling at him. His imperfect teeth met in a slightly crooked line, faintly covered by reddened lips.

  
"Ye do that often. I said, i was just callin' ta make sure ye were okay. I haven't heard from ya in,"

  
He pulls up his right arm dramatically, checking his non-existent watch.

  
"Three days. I was gettin' worried ye were angry with me. Are things with Isabelle goin' okay?"

  
He frowned, and it broke Mark's heart to see him so distraught. He had never meant to hurt Jack, that's the last person who should be worried about him anyways.

  
"Yeah. Yeah, things with her are, they're great. Why, uh, what makes you ask that?"

  
Mark fumbled over his words, causing Jack to raise an eyebrow.

  
"Fer starters ya look like shit. Have ye been cryin'? Secondly, i tried to ask her about ye and she just waved me off. I know she and I aren't the best of friends but i-"

  
"No, no its fine. We're fine. Everything is fine."

  
He huffed, not wanting to get into his little "drunken confession" he gave to his girlfriend. He sighed and rubbed his eyes again.

  
"Thanks for checking on me I, I guess. I, uh, I appreciate it, hey could you call me back later?"

  
Immediately he saw Jack's relaxed expression turn into sadness, and icy blue eyes met chocolately brown.

  
"No, I  _can't_. Mark, what's goin' on? Ye don't answer my calls, yer girlfriend treats me like shit, and now you're pushin' me away? I thought we were friends..."

  
_"I want to be more than that..."_

  
Mark thought to himself, rubbing his face with his hands trying to scrub away his thoughts.

  
"We are, i'm just really stressed right now okay? I have some homework to do."

  
Jack only nodded. His gaze was fixated on something on his desk, and his gorgeous eyes were raining tears.

  
"I...i'm _sorry_ Jack."

  
He nodded again, turning his chair away from his desk and walking away. Mark only sighed and whispered.

  
_"I love you..."_

  
Then he hung up the call and sighed against his chair. He was truly fucked.

* * *

 

Days went by and Jack didn't try to contact him again. Sometimes he would enter his favorite tea shoppe and see Jack working, but he would only head to the stockroom, leaving another worker to help him.

  
"Do you guys know each other or something?"

  
Said one of his coworkers. The girl had wavy black and grey hair and gorgeous green eyes, and she pushed some of it out of her face as she picked through various tea boxes.

  
"Yeah, um, we're-well, _were_ best friends."

  
"Just friends? Hm."

  
Mark cocked his head at her, so she looked at him and smiled, returning to her task of locating his tea.

  
"Any reason why you're not now? Friends I mean."

  
Mark laughed quietly to himself, then mustered up the courage to answer.

  
"I'm an _idiot_."

  
She frowned a little, then smirked.

  
"So is he. Here's your tea doll."

  
She handed him a box, then led him back to the registers to check out.

  
"What's your name darling?"

  
"Mark, just Mark."

  
She nodded, pointing to her nametag.

  
"Maxana, but people call me Max."

  
He flashed her a half smile and handed her his debit card.

  
"Fischbach? You're Isabelle's boyfriend, right?"

  
He sighed, nodding half heartedly. She only smiled.

  
"You should talk to her, she's worried about you."

Mark frowned, feeling anger bubbling inside him.

  
"Who are _you_ to give me advice? I just need my tea and to, to leave okay?"

  
She furrowed her brows slightly, then  handed him his card and bag, turning away to help another customer. He sighed again, leaving the store to head back to his little burrow.

* * *

  
Its been a week since he met Maxana, and he hasn't revisited Teatastic anymore. Isabelle called off their relationship and suggested he get help, to which he replied a big, hearty, " _fuck you_ ". She only huffed and wished him the best. Jack had come by his apartment and knocked, but he only watched the door with teary eyes as the knocks slowly faded into footsteps, and footsteps into silence.

* * *

  
Mark spiraled into a depression, spending long hours at home, only going to class at the university and to work at Pepper's. His coworkers offered to take him home at night, but he always preferred to walk, hoping to maybe get hit by a car or shot by a stray bullet. His routine became just that: sleep, wake up, go to school, go to work, go home, repeat. Sometimes he would shower, but only on days he had to work. School was only two hours, so it wasn't worth it. His eating patterns got erratic, and he found himself with a fridge just as empty as his heart. Some days, his hand would find its way to his mouse, and the cursor would hover over Jack's face on Skype.

  
_"Just tell him."_

  
_"He will just reject you."_

  
_"You're worthless. Gay. Disgusting."_

  
He would only sigh, shutting off his screen and downing pain meds to make himself go to sleep.

* * *

  
One day, the knocks were different. It had been about a month since his and Isabelle's breakup, and he hadn't attempted to contact anyone to talk it out. He awoke to hard knocks, forcing himself off the bed and kicking through his mess to get to the peep hole. At his door was quite a sight. A frazzled, hair tousseled Jack was rapping on his door, along with his coworker from awhile ago, he couldn't recall her name.

  
"Mark! I know that yer in there, _please_ open up...it's been long enough and this needs ta _stop_!"

  
Mark only backed away from the door, his heart beating 1000 miles per minute, terrified of what he would have to face if he let them in.

  
"Mark? Hi, Its Max. I may not know you well but what you're doing is really unhealthy...holing yourself up and harboring emotions isn't how to deal with a breakup."

  
Everything she said fell on deaf ears as Mark tried his best to have as much distance between him and the door as possible. He wasn't ready to confront this, it hadn't been long enough.

  
_"Yes it has."_

  
His conscience says, beckoning him to confront his problems head on. He took a deep sigh as the knocking subsided, slowly padding towards the door. He unlocked the locks, fluffing his hair so it didn't appear to be falling out. He tugged his hoodie sleeves down so Jack couldnt see the raised scars on his thin arms. He took one last deep breath, and opened the door.

  
"Hi."

  
"Mark what the **_hell_** is goin' on in here?? Ye've been gone for _months_ i thought you were dead."

  
" _I wish_."

  
Mark mumbled under his breath, causing Jack to raise an eyebrow.

  
"Did, um, did you guys need something? I was in the middle of sleeping."

  
Max looked terrified, examining his near fragile body under his layers. Jack only frowned, staring at his half open door.

  
"Mark, let me _in_ there."

  
Jack tried to push past him, but he held him off with all his might.

  
"Listen, whatever you need to say we can talk about it-"

  
"NO MARK IM **_DONE_** TALKIN'. MONTHS MARK, _MONTHS_ YE'VE BEEN GONE AND YE WANT ME TA STAND OUT HERE AND BE CIVIL???"

  
"Jack calm-"

  
"I _am_ calm. _Totally_ calm. When yer best friend avoids ye for two months and his relationship falls apart and ye come ta his apartment and he looks like a fuckin' skeleton **THEN** you tell me how fuckin' **CALM** ye'd be Max I _SWE_ -"

  
" _ **STOP**_. Both of you. Jack, i'm fine. I have no idea why you dragged her here if you're only going to yell. I'm just falling onto hard times. I'm an adult, I can handle it."

  
Jack gripped his fist and tensed up, then he pulled Mark into a warm embrace, crying his eyes out.

  
"I _miss_ ye...I miss ye _so_ much Mark I...I don't know what else ta _do_..."

  
Mark lightly patted him on the back, his heart and brain both begging him to kiss Jack. He pulled away before he could do something stupid, leaving a broken look on Jack's face. His eyes cast down, and his tears continued to fall.

  
"It's _me_ isn't it? I'm the reason...nevermind. I um...I'm sorry I showed up."

  
Jack covered his mouth and nose to stop the pained cry that escaped his lips, darting off down the hallway and into the darkness.

  
"He loves you, you know, more than anything."

  
Mark turns to her, tears ripping themselves from his eyes.

  
"That's the problem. _I love him too_."

  
He slides down his door, having closed it in the heat of the moment. Maxana sits next to him, patting his shoulder.

  
"I know, i see it in the way you talked about him. The way you'd come into our job and bring him lunch everyday, or how you'd come to us specifically to buy tea you _know_ was cheaper at Walmart. Isabelle told me about that night a couple months ago. I know it must have been hard to face sober."

  
Mark shook his head, taking in a shaky breath.

  
"I never meant...I didn't want to hurt her..."

  
"I think she knows that now Mark. But you know who doesn't know you didn't mean to hurt them?" 

  
Mark looked into her shimmering eyes, filled with wonder and concern.

  
"I know."

  
"Then maybe _you_ should go tell him that."

  
Mark laughed despite himself, throwing his head back on the door.

  
"He's not _gay_ Max. I know what you think you see, but its not true. He's just always been there for me, _always_. My stupid heart fell in love with that."

  
"You're telling me he moved halfway across the globe, got a job at a tea place, and left his other friends and family behind all because he _owed_ you one? You're dumber than i thought Mark."

  
He scoffs.

  
"That makes two of us."

  
She smiles, standing and holding out her hand.

  
"Come on. I think it's about time we go confess eh?"

  
Mark sighs, taking her hand and following her to see Jack sitting at the bottom of the steps. His heart drops again as he sees him, defeated. They walk towards him, Mark sitting with him and Max heading to her car. Jack only stares forward.

  
"I'm sor-"

  
"Don't apologize ta me Mark. I never should have come over. It's obvious yer done with me..."

  
"That's not it. _Jesus_ let me speak now okay?"

  
Jack nodded, keeping his gaze to the ground now.

  
"I...I'm in love with you, okay? I have been for ages now, but I figured it was just infatuation. I dated so many people, but nothing ever felt right, I don't know I just, when i'm with you I feel at my best. I jumped to conclusions and I never even gave you the chance to...I freaked out okay? I'm _sorry_ Jack. I love you."

  
Mark looked at the ground as well, hoping he didn't just lose his best friend for good. That is, until he heard Jack quietly chuckling next to him. He went to look up, and was met with a pair of hands cupping his cheeks, and a pair of lips resting lightly on his. Stuck in shock, he let his brain catch up to what was happening and clutched onto Jack's hands, kissing back. Jack broke the kiss for air, smiling at Mark.

  
"Between you and I, that was the best kiss i've ever had."

  
Jack laughed, kissing him quickly and smiling.

  
"Between ye and I, I thought it was amazin' too."

  
Jack took a breath, sighing against Mark's lips.

  
"This is goin' to take some gettin' used ta, and I'll definitely need to get ye back on track. We can't be together _immediately_ but..."

  
"I get it, I know."

  
Mark beamed, kissing Jack one more time.

  
"How about we go talk this out with Max and Isabelle hm?"

  
Mark worried his bottom lip, nodding quietly as Jack took his hand to lift him up.

  
"First, lets get ye cleaned up and fed though, yeah? Had me all worried that ye hated me."

  
Jack frowned, but there was no malice in his words. Once they made it to the door, he texted Max to tell her the plans, and she responded with a smiley face. Before they entered, Jack pulled Mark close, locking lips with him again. As he let go, he whispered against them.

  
"Between ye and I, I love ye too."


End file.
